Lauren's Birth Story

So, I thought that I should write an entry about how Lauren came into this world. I know some know the story, but others think I went in to premature labor and some just have no idea. I had severe pre-eclampsia with HELLP syndrome. HELLP syndrome is life threatening for baby and mother and 4-12% of diagnosed pre-eclampsia patients develop HELLP syndrome. Here's the story:
The weekend of May 15th was one of the first nice weekends we had for a while so I was excited to get a lot done around the house. I went to a baby shower on Saturday morning then ran errands which included buying flowers for my flower pots. I got home and got all of those planted and then relaxed for the rest of the evening. I felt like I was having quite a bit of heartburn, so I was popping tums like candy. I was having epigastric pain (the upper middle part of your abdomen-right under your sternum) but I'd had heartburn in the past and it felt very similar.

I also noticed that my feet were slightly puffy, but didn't think much of it because, hello, I was pregnant! I put my feet up and the swelling was gone the next morning. On Sunday, I still felt like I was having lots of heartburn, but I attributed it to my finally starting to get a belly and everything shifting up. I remember that the only thing that made it feel better was having Adam pat me on the back. I was a little tired on Sunday, but overall felt fine and set out to clean my entire house--from top to bottom. I got so much accomplished that day. When I look back now, I guess I was "nesting." My body knew something was up.

Along came Monday and I went to work. I still felt like I was having heartburn that just would not go away. I even tried Zantac (which is safe after the 12th week of pregnancy) and that didn't help. I got home and I was a little swollen again, but nothing that I thought was worrisome...so my feet went up on a pillow and I laid back and relaxed. Monday evening my so called "heartburn" was getting worse so I decided to just go to bed. In the middle of the night (Monday night) I woke up with really severe epigastric pain and it hurt to move. It was about time for me to get up anyway, so I got up and into the shower. I was still in a lot of pain and it hurt to take deep breaths. I remember feeling like I had fluid in my lungs, but then convinced myself I was crazy. I specifically remember looking at my feel while I was in the shower and thinking "I don't look swollen." Pre-eclampsia and it's symptoms ran through my mind, but I just kept telling myself "not at 25 weeks, not at 25 weeks." I really contemplated calling in sick to work, but I hate doing that so I went in. I continued to take tums and even some Tylenol for the pain. I had a friend even listen to my lungs when I got to work since my breathing felt funny. My lungs were clear, but we both commented on how my voice just somehow sounded different--like fluid in my throat or something. My epigastric area, at this point, was very tender to the touch, but I was at work, so I just ignored it and went about my day. Mid-morning I noticed that I was feeling better so I figured everything was all good.

My co-workers & I were taking our afternoon break and I had my feet up on a chair when one of them commented asked me if I had seen my feet. I kind of chuckled and then looked down and my feet and ankles...well more like everything, was so so so swollen. I had many bad words run through my head and we all went back up and checked my blood pressure. The machine said 170/90, so we took it again with a very similar reading. I even made another Nurse take it manually and she got just about the same. I called the doctor's office from work, but had to leave a message and have them call me back. I got home and waited for the call from the nurse which came about 415pm. I told her everything that had been going on and she had to talk to the doctor then call me back again. She called after 5pm so I knew that I wouldn't just be able to go into the office to have my BP checked and urine checked for protein. The doc wanted both of those things done, so I would have to go Labor/Delivery. The Nurse and I even talked about how pre-eclampsia would probably be unlikely because I was so early in my pregnancy. She said that even the doctor would be very surprised. I had just been to the doctor 2 weeks before this and everything was going great. My last ultrasound was normal also-Lauren was growing just fine.

We hopped in the car and went down. I remember telling Adam that he didn't really have to go...that "I'll probably be back in an hour to make dinner." Obviously that didn't happen and I wouldn't step foot in our house for 7 more days. For those of you who don't know, I used to work in Labor/Delivery so I know the girls there and I was a bit fearful of looking like an idiot for coming in to have everything checked out and have it be totally fine. I know so stupid for me to think that, but I did. So...I got changed into the gown, gave my U/A, got hooked up to the monitors and after about 10 minutes of me totally trying to relax, my first BP reading was 210/110. She didn't tell me what it was and I couldn't see the monitor. She took it again and got another very high reading and told me what it was this time. She went and dipped my urine, came back and told me I had 4+ protein in my urine. Very bad thing! I was in shock and immediately felt so dumb for not coming in sooner. Then there were about 3 other Nurses in the room scrambling around admitting me, starting an IV, drawing labs, giving me Labetalol and Hydralazine, got my steroid injection to help Lauren's lung maturity and starting Magnesium Sulfate. Mag Sulfate is a smooth muscle relaxant and they use it with pre-eclampsia to help prevent seizures. It is not fun to be on. It first hits you in your head and gives you a huge head rush then makes you feel lethargic. It also makes you so incredibly HOT! I would have the room turned all the way down and freeze everyone, but I was still hot. I also felt like I couldn't think straight on it, my brain just felt fuzzy. My labs came back and liver function tests were way too high, platelets low and kidney function was not great. Salem Hospital's NICU does not take babies under 26 weeks, so the doctor called NW Perinatolgy @ St. Vincent's to consult about me because she wasn't sure if she could keep me pregnant until 26 weeks. I was 25 weeks 3 days at this point. The consensus was that I was too sick and had to be transferred in case they had to deliver before I hit 26 weeks. I got loaded in the ambulance and Adam called our parents and went home to gather clothes etc. My old co-worker Dawn was my Nurse and I was so thankful that I had her. It made this whole ordeal less scary that I had a friend with me and I had worked with her so I knew we were getting great & safe care from her.

We made it up to St. Vincent's and I got into my room and the perinatologist came in to see me. Adam was still on his way up at this point. Our plan was to continue with the magnesium, BP drugs, and lab draws every 4 hours and see what happens. Our goal was to get me to 26 weeks, transfer me back down to Salem and then keep me on bed rest in the hospital for 8 weeks and deliver at 34 weeks. I was starting to feel really crummy now. My head was starting to hurt and the epigastric pain was getting really bad again...not to mention how Mag makes you feel. The night went on and my labs kept getting worse and my BP wasn't going down, so they had one of the neonatologists come in and talk to us about if we would want our baby resuscitated or not. You see, at 24 weeks gestation they don't usually recommended resuscitation because outcomes usually are not too good, but at 26 weeks they do recommend resuscitation because outcomes are better. So here we are--right smack in the middle--now at 25 weeks and 4 days. Let me tell you that this conversation is taking place at about 3am. I have been up since 5am, can't think straight because of all the meds and just feeling shitty and Adam is also exhausted. This was the longest and worst night of our lives. We didn't want our baby to go through a painful resuscitation if things were not going to work out, but we had to give her a chance. We decided for resuscitation if they had to deliver me.

A new doctor was on in the morning and when he came into the room I think the first words out of his mouth were "I'm sorry, we just can't keep you pregnant anymore." My labs were so far out of whack and I was feeling horrible (still trying to keep it together for Adam though) so I felt like this might be coming. My epigastric pain all this time was actually my liver. The doctor told us that my liver function tests were way too high and that he was worried about my liver rupturing and that they usually only see about one per year and I was pretty much going that route. If my liver ruptured it would be life threatening to me and Lauren. Because we decided on resuscitation, they would take Lauren by C-section. They got me prepped and we were on our way to having our baby! Adam made phone calls to our parents while I was getting my spinal. I remember parts of the c-section, but not everything. I was feeling so out of it and this whole thing was so surreal. How the hell was this all happening?

I do remember Adam coming in and when Dr. Abel took her out he had Adam stand up and he got a peek at her. Dr. Abel asked if we had a name and I was trying to get the words "not yet" out of my mouth, but Adam chimed in with Lauren. We hadn't totally decided on a name yet, but we both liked Lauren and had narrowed it down to Lauren or Allysa. And so Lauren Marie Bello was born.

Surgery was over-we now had a baby. A baby! 15 weeks early! I was in recovery and Adam went to see her and got some pictures. I was amazed at how small she was. 12 inches and 1lb 3oz. She came out such a fighter though. We were told that when she came out she made a couple cries which was great news. I got to see Lauren very briefly on my way to my room. I had been given Dilaudid (very strong) after my surgery because the doctor had to open me back up so I was really out of it, I'm glad Adam had lots of pictures to show me. It was so hard to see Lauren hooked up to all sorts of monitors. When you're pregnant you have all these visions of a chubby and screaming baby. You never think that the first time you see your child it will be in a NICU with her strapped down, on a ventilator, an umbilical line, IV, and hooked up to every monitor possible. I couldn't believe how tiny she was. The ultrasound the doctor did when I first got to St. V's estimated her weight at 1lb 9oz. She was growth restricted, but this was the first any of us knew about it.

Lauren spent 92 days in the NICU. She was on and off a ventilator for 8-9 weeks, her eyes were still fused shut at birth, she didn't get to be held until she was 17 days old. She had 4 blood transfusion, on antibiotics numerous times for possible infections which she somehow never did get. She had a feeding tube until a week before discharge, she still battles with severe ROP, she was on caffeine to stimulate her breathing, they tried 6 doses of Indocin to close her PDA, but had surgery at 23 days old to close it. She somehow avoided ever having a brain bleed. That's just a quick run down of what comes to mind quickly for me. I don't remember if we were told specific odds of her living...we were told to just take it hour by hour. Each hour we got to spend with her we had to be thankful for. They said things can change so quickly and to not get too complacent. It was such a roller coaster ride. One thing would be better and something else worse. This experience made us grow, both as individuals and a couple. I hope that no one we know ever has to go through it.

Lauren is such a miracle. I stare at her everyday at some point while she's asleep and think how in the world did she make it? How did she defy all odds and make it through. She had so many obstacles and she overcame every single one. She's gone through more than many of us have and ever will. I'm glad that she will not remember any of this, but I am glad that one day we will get to share her story and pictures with her.

Here is Lauren today!